According to Monica Bellucci from Chicago, most american (born in usa not immigrants) gals would be very pleased with smart people of my type on a first meeting. And she is right. However I will successfully freak the chick out by giving too much attention and care. I will scare her if I call up the next day. I will make her apprehensive if I speak of relationships even if she is spending the time with me. I will make her feel vulnerable by asking her out even if she is telling me that she likes me. She will think that I'm all excited about nothin and not goal oriented and not for real. And she is right again. This has been my experience with most of the american gals I have hung out with in near past.
However what I have doubts I my mind is that why these gals are shying of care and attention? The obvious melodramatic answers you can expect from chicks will be "I don't know you that much...""..you might be a psycho"..."you must not be for real..I never handled so good guys.." "Iam not used to this, I need my space.." "I'm all by myself..wouldn't a relationship ruin my independance" "you are coming in too strong..".
Well babes, how many psychos or serial killers reported so far in USA were from India and how many of them were IT professionals??? And is life all about having test tube babies (single moms) or is it about having families?? Is love and care and attention wrong?? Is being a little demanding going to brush your ego on the wrong side??Or you read somewhere that cute successful guys can never take care of you and make you feel inferior? Or you have a brain crisis?
And what about appreciating the fact that the guy is a transplant to your country and living an isolated, lonely existence and require true honest someone to spend some good time. That his life may not be as filled up with friends as yours is (you have been born here not me) because there is not much outside work life to look forward to.
6 comments:
Oh you special special man. First, don't put all women in the same category. Just as all Indian men are not the same, all American women are not the same. As for me, when a guy comes on too strong, I wonder what is wrong with him – no matter what his race is. It's outside of what I consider "normal behavior." I’m not trying to stay away from guys that care about me – it’s that the behavior you see as “caring” I consider “crazy.” Some girls are willing to put up with your “crazy” to see if it really is “caring,” but as you have now realized, most are not. Just as much as you want American women to adapt and understand Indian culture, you need to adapt and understand American women – especially if you want to end up with one.
If you want to go out with any girl – you are most likely going to ask her out at some point – no matter what race she is. You will have to put yourself on the line and become vulnerable. If she rejects you, she rejects you – move on. Usually, you are a sweet, caring and trust-worthy guy but you have to be willing to put yourself out there in any situation realizing that it is not always going to end up the way you wanted or expected. I believe that the more time you invest in getting to know a person – really truly opening up and letting them know the real you – the more they trust you and won’t be scared to start a relationship. Realize that by opening yourself up you also bring in more vulnerability and the possibility for rejection, but if you never let anyone get to know you then you might just miss out on a great opportunity.
Overall, I think you need to become friends with American women before you try to start a relationship. It will help you to get to know them and more importantly for them to get to know what a great guy you are. Someone out there will appreciate you for you. Patience.
Do you think women are stupid? To say that we are having a brain crisis or try to stay away from cute successful guys is ridiculous. Just because you think that you are AMAZING, doesn’t mean that you always come off as such. Just as much as we are trying to impress you, you are also trying to impress us. The feedback that you received as to how you come across to women was meant to enlighten you. Don’t you want to know what you do wrong with women? I wish I had a friend to give me such honest advice and I would be smart enough to appreciate it and then try to adapt instead of saying that the feedback is wrong or stupid. Relationships take a lot of time and they aren’t cookie cutter. They are hard work and sometimes you need to get over worrying about yourself in order to fully be a part of the experience. Stop worrying about how you are perceived and be yourself. In the end your true self is going to come out and wouldn’t you rather know from the beginning if she is into the real you? It would save you a lot of time and heartache.
Ai, ai, ai...we American gals are a wounded lot. And now we've past along the wounding. Forgive us.
I would be interested in hearing the women's perspective on this, there is more than one side to a story. I don't think you should just assume that their excuses are wrong. Maybe they're just not ready for a relationship, maybe they are crazy or maybe you are doing something wrong. I am sorry you got your heart broken though...we've all been down that road, but that doesn't mean you should stereotype.
I don't plan on ever starting a family nor do I want to be a single mom, I would like to think that there are more than two options in life.
And I dig the foreign men;) There's nothing sexier than connecting with someone from another culture.
Sweet Arcane...I am amazed at your sense of Modesty!!!guess you should look up the meaning of "modesty" since you like to pepper your blogs with "hyperbol(s)!!
U pathetic little thing. Haven't you learned, what goes around comes around & it might be coming around right now!
KARMA!!
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